super furry people

Super Furry Person = Noel Achariam.
The Lorong Avenger = Noel Achariam.
The Butt Flaunter = Noel Achariam.
Agent Mastorbator (note: not a typo) = Noel Achariam.

Please Google Noel Achariam.

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i will cherish you always

You didn't know, that when you were holding me close with my cheek pressed against your chest, I was smiling. Because I was happy. Because you told me so many special things. Special things I take to be true because I know you to be a sincere person.

You will always be my most special person, Noel, because you are always so kind to me.

I used to cry alone at night, hoping that there will be someone who will be kind to me, that there will be someone to hold my hand tightly because it aches when I cry.

I still cry sometimes but only because I am touched by the many things you do for me.

I am so fortunate for your presence in my life.

You are my greatest gift.

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yoo hoo

You know me, the only movie I could be bothered about watching is Harry Potter but since Noel, I've been watching movies for quite a bit. We've still yet to watch Transformers - we have a pair of free tickets but it would seem that the cinemas are clean booked every day - and on Monday, we're watching the premier of Ice Age 3, courtesy of my friend Lawrence, who is generous to always offer me a pair of free tickets whenever he has some to spare.

And. I'm busy finding and trading ingredients on Restaurant City but it's so hard! Dammit. I only managed to reach Level 7 for my dessert.

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how i spend my days

At least four hours in a day is spent with Noel. Horrors! It's as if I don't have anybody else to hang out with anymore, which isn't entirely untrue...

But I like being with Noel. Noel is dependable, although not so in the timing department. (Punctuality isn't his best trait.)

And today, because it's Saturday, I get to read my comics online and drink cold Ribena. Yay! At the office I drink hot green tea, wrap myself up in my furry brown blanket and try to finish up my work as fast as I can so I can get lost - in the arms of Noel that is.

Arghghghghghghgg. Everything is always about Noel.

Now I gotta go do my homework. I'm helping Noel with his listings.

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i'm a sushi roll

It saddens me when people speak ill of me to Noel because that means that I've yet to succeed in becoming the kind of girlfriend he can be proud of, the one that people will point to and say, "Hey, that's Noel's girl and he sure is lucky to have her".

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five minutes with... edition cheng

THE sky is the limit - a motto notorious Hong Kong actor/singer/host/busboy/playboy/gigolo-turned-pornstar Edition Cheng has always lived by religiously ever since his first accidental stumble into the limelight, posing as a model for the Taiwanese hairgel brand "Hard-On Wax Lover".

"Other days, my motto is 'a man is limited to how deep he can thrust'," said Cheng sheepishly, displaying his signature boyish grin.

Cheng, who had specially flown in to Malaysia on Saturday was speaking to Surat Melayu in an exclusive interview at the official launch of his clothing boutique in Bangsar, 'flooze'.

Cheng, who has a large following in the country, mostly made up of teenage girls (and some boys), was seen dodging flying panties that were flung into his direction from all areas from screaming fans.

"This is odd. The panties are wet," he said, fingering the crotch of a pair of pink satin panties.

Surat Melayu: What is flooze and what was the original idea behind the name?
Cheng: flooze is something that is very close to my heart. When I started becoming a big household name in Hong Kong, I had plenty of that, floozies that is. I was young and with my good looks, the media labeled me a playboy but after that incident, when my ex-girlfriend Messy K revealed that I had been secretly working as a gigolo and acting in porn movies to supplement my extravagant lifestyle, that totally gave me a wake up call. I realised that the biggest floozy was me but man, I remember Messy's furry beaver - it was so thick it could choke you.

SM: Err... can we move on to the next question? Tell us more about flooze's "Exploding Beaver Metallica" line?
Cheng: When you get your fingers entangled into a furry beaver - (remaining parts of the conversation are censored to protect our young readers). I really love Metallica. It's totally raw. It's like Britney's mom screaming and throwing raw potatoes at you. Really raw. RAWR. So expect to see a lot of silver embellishments on fur. Lots of it. RAWR.

SM: ... we noticed that there was a limited edition line called "Whip Me Up, Pansy Boy!".
Cheng: Yeah! You see this? It's for the ladies to carry around and whip their men when they misbehave in public. Know how female empowerment is all the 'in' thing today? I do read CLEO from time to time you know and being able to wield power boosts a woman's confidence, it makes them feel sexy and men love a confident girl who knows how to have her way. Anyway, all our products undergo rigorous quality testing and they can last a lifetime - just don't whip elephants with them or they won't last as much - and the other day, I got my product manager to test it out on me at our brand presentation and woohoo, I was prancing around like a pony! GODDAMN that woman can spank! If you can afford it, buy the "18k Bitch Devil Whip" - that's our best product. It comes free with a bottle of tartar sauce.

SM: What other plans are you currently working on? We hear you're working on a new movie.
Cheng: Oh, you gotta love this. I'm currently producing and co-writing a movie called Edition Cheng: Full-Frontal Inspector. It's a dramatic-erotic thriller about a straight-laced police inspector that infiltrates the underground prostitution syndicate in Hong Kong that caters to those with money to throw and a love for the exotic 'delicacies'. There's a lot of hardships in store for our title hero, that's me by the way, as he navigates his way through unknown territory and comes face-to-face with a number of steamy, full-frontal confrontations.

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getting educated by the educationist

Because I am younger than you, I may not have the wisdom and the experience that you surely must have that are far greater than what I own.

Because I am younger than you, I will depend on you to advise me in however way you see fit even had I not approached you to seek your views on things.

Because I am younger than you, I will always be like a child running to you for hugs and consolations for bruised egos and scraped knees.

Because I am younger than you and shorter than you, I will look up into your eyes with as much love a person can have in her heart and tell you that I love you.

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a little bit of contemplation

Don't tell me how I know but a person can't be ignorant forever. There are means of acquiring the proper 'channels' to find out what is said about you behind your back and most certainly, if you wanted to keep something secret from the entire world the only foolproof way of doing that is to just shoot yourself dead.

Plenty of things I found, I found out too late. I also found out through the hard way that by the time I knew, too much damage had been done. And that they were irreversible.

Sometimes the 'victim' in me lashes out by seeking out the reasons as to how I could have ended up in a lot of shit. Why are people so cruel to me?

The best thing is always to try my best to shrug it off and chalk it up as part of my experiences in growing up. The most important thing though, is to learn from that.

Unfortunately, sometimes I don't and history has an uncanny way of repeating itself and it has, in a few occasions.

Right now though, all of that are behind me.

That was after a really bad second experience totally woke me up for good from the lies that I was living in (after the first bad experience, I went into denial and at some point convinced myself that it was a mistake that wasn't supposed to end up the way it had).

Unfortunately, not everyone is as fortunate.

Like the girl who always knew what a cheat her boyfriend was, still is and will always be. She gets hurt time and time again, writing letters to her boyfriend to voice out her pain, her disappointment that she is finally, "leaving you for good". Yet, she never does leave because he knows all the right things to say and do.

Sometimes it ain't the right move to put your vulnerable heart on a platter and serve it to a manipulating person - gives them even more of an ammunition to break your heart apart.

I still wish that she will wake up from this 'sleepwalking' soon. Same as the many others, who are being cheated.

I used to be in their position. I am thankful that I am no longer there.

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getting domesticated

Have I cooked for any of the other guys I've dated? Not really. I only made spaghetti and cheese omelette for the first guy because we were studying away from home and occasionally I wanted to eat something that tasted like it came from home - no matter how tasty food at the restaurants are, they just have that quality of taste that I call the 'restaurant food taste'. Maybe it's the seasoning that they use.

So it's a bit strange that suddenly I want to cook and make things for Noel. Last week I had him and Nadirah over for a lunch of Japanese curry rice and potato croquettes. I plan to make him homemade beef burger patties next. I'm also planning to get my mom to teach me how to make a few other things.

I even have a plan: Make the stuff on my off days, pop them in the freezer and then get them all fried, baked or whatever when I want to make a lunch delivery for Noel.

I wanted to make Japanese curry rice again yesterday but since I woke up late I thought it'd be nice to get sushi for Noel (the other reason being I wanted to have sushi for lunch) instead.

Besides yummy, I'm also thinking nutritious. I don't know about you but on my part, it is so not healthy to always have fish and chips with fried rice, a bulls-eye egg and a large helping of mayo every day for lunch and then some other greasy variety of rice and stuff at night. And there's hardly any veggie or fruit in my diet - no wonder I'm always constipated.

And so, I shall find a bottle of Pride balsamic and lemon salad dressing and also deliver salad to Noel's office! Maybe some fruit too.

Gosh. I'm getting sooo domesticated. Worse, I'm also developing my talents as a masseuse girl. Dammit it's all Noel's fault.

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yay me!!

I must surely be the most nicest girlfriend on the planet. I got up, rushed to my favourite restaurant and made a sushi lunch delivery to Noel's office where we proceeded to eat half of the stuff bought before we got too full to eat anymore.

And it's my off day!

So I am sweet, Noel says and I know he loves me very, very much and that is why we are going to drop in on the International Cat Show and the National Rabbit Show soon because he loves me very, very much.

BUNNYYYY!!!!

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twoot twoot

A little cactus plant appeared on my table today, courtesy of the Bayer people.

I'm going to give it to my mom - and I think it has about as much chance as a tadpole living in a jar of vinegar. My mom's great with cactuses that way.

I also have a box of chocolate-chip-cookies-in-a-cup-with-cheese-cake-toppings which Nadirah baked last night - at a price OK. We shall not be in the habit of mooching off of our friends just because they're expert bakers.

So all in all, I am pleased but I still hope to see my Noel tonight.

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i am loved

The unexpected journey with you began when you approached me that night at DV8 and introduced yourself to me.

You will always be loved with much fierceness and much passion.

I love you Noel.

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this is hard

This is hard. I've tried to write this at least four times but I can't seem to put down the words that usually come to me so easily.

Beginilah. Saya akan menghantar e-mel kepada anda.

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miow miow

I've been a bad, bad girl and so, I am regularly punished for being bad. :(

Noel says I need to be educated regularly so I am currently undergoing 'special' classes thrice a week. It involves a lot of eating and occasionally a lick of the popsicle.

Miow.

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contemplations

Hmm. Maybe I should stop calling and see if he wonders.

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red panda attack!

Nasib baik dada aku tak begitu besar. Imagine kalau I had to wear D cups! Or even Cs at the very least! They're going to sag until they reach my belly button once the supports are removed and gosh, big bras aren't even sexy! The bra straps are practically an inch wide! No spaghetti straps, no cutely molded cups. You're gonna be wearing cups that could fit in a human head with much room to spare for a turkey ham sandwich!

Hari ini. Noel telah terlupa untuk belanja makan aiskrim.

Cis.

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this is totally fictional

IN sudden bursts of self-confidence, I may admit that I am, if you will excuse the narcissism, quite an attractive woman. On better-dressed days, I may even go as far as to say that I look 'hot'.

In these sweltering times though, I'm experiencing a different kind of 'hot' - the kind where I get all sweaty in a non-sexy way and am seen sporting wet Roscharch patterns on the inner sleeves of my top. I could even fancy myself being a model in one of those deodorant ads. Only thing is, you won't see me smiling and skipping in the ad - you'll just hear me screaming for a refund.

It's bad, this heat. And it's only going to get worse when El Nino comes in the upcoming days.

Malaysia typically experiences a hot and dry season in June, July and August with temperatures ranging between 33 °C to 34 °C. However, with the El Nino phenomenon, temperatures can rise by an additional 3 °C - that's really hot.

These days, getting to the office well nigh before the temperature hits its highest has become a priority, no, a matter of life and death, just for the air-conditioning because my mom's 'kedekut' about installing air-conditioners in her children's rooms. (There is an air-conditioning unit in my parents room though - we're not THAT backwards - but since a few years ago, it has become nothing more than a decoration on the wall. My mom says paying RM1 plus for an hour's worth of air-conditioning is much too expensive. She'd rather keep that RM1 to pay for her Korean drama channels on Astro.)

Even the last hope, the trusty old stand fan has failed me. So I've taken to pretending that I'm stranded on a nudist colony in the privacy of my room (only at night time though).

Seriously, if I could, I'd stuff myself in the fridge at home but then I'd give my dad a heart attack if he were to open the door to find me crouching inside, munching on a carrot stick so I'm being conservative about the fridge thing by visiting it only when I need a glass of cold water, of which I'm drinking loads now and resulting in never-ending trips to the loo.

My boyfriend thinks I have demented ideas but what would he know? Aside from being a guy, the lucky bugger also has an air-conditioner unit in his room.
Normally I'd beat him up for thinking me any less than the sweet girl I am but thinking about how the effort will make me even sweatier restrains me from getting violent with him.

So we thought about ways to get cool over a dinner of spicy-hot seafood tom yam soup and white rice, further frying our already fried brains.

The best we could come up with is to either: a) Perform a naked rain dance in the middle of Dataran Merdeka and hope for the best; b) Sit in a tub of ice and eat bowls and bowls of ice-cream; c) Migrate to Alaska and live among wolves.

We also contemplated the cons of the ideas available: a) Be labeled a pervert and get caught by the police for committing public indecency; b) Make sure a loo is nearby - diarrhea's sure to happen baby; c) Does Air Asia go to Alaska? Why can't we go to Disneyland instead?

What can you do about the soaring temperatures? Nothing, short of migrating to Alaska.

But just so you can make it a bit more bearable you should drink plenty of water to avoid being dehydrated, eat more watermelon, wear less clothes and love your office more.

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kepenatan melanda

Penat. Horror. Sakit perut. Maybe I should have stayed home to do the house work because suddenly sakit perut and I think it's going to be one of those diarrhea kinds of sakit perut and I am not looking forward to going out and about to get a story.

Horror.

Nooooooooo.... it cannot be diarrhea. No, not in the office! If I'm going to have diarrhea then I can't be having ice-cream later because that will upset my stomach even more. Then there's going to be a sushi dinner at home. And I want sushi very much but I want to hang out with Noel, too. Oh, decisions, decisions. Sushi? Noel? Can't I have both?

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to my noel

Dear Noel,

Will I always be able to hold your hand?

Love, M.

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road bullies MUST die

I read this on Rocky's Bru and was reminded of the time when I had a run-in with a road bully about two weeks ago.

I don't think I need to elaborate much on what had happened on the road but I will tell you that I was shaken so much that I lodged a police report the next morning on the bully, who had a mean toady look and drove a black BMW.

I mean, what is it with all these big car drivers? I'm just a girl driving a Kancil with a P sticker (although I must stress that I have gotten my licence ages ago) on the windshield - give me some slack for not being able to drive 200km/h in the fast lane and for not being able to cut into the slower lane in Speedy Gonzales fashion because there were too many cars driving too slowly that were hogging up the lane.

Anyway, road bullies should just DIE. DIE IN YOUR GODDAMN BMW CAR. I'm sure that will be the best funeral casket you could ever have. And if you wanted to know the road bully's number plate, remember this: It's WSJ 3251 and it's a black BMW.

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four hours of sleep

The universe works in strange ways sometimes. Sometimes, it gives you a clue. Like a fish symbol or a Shnauzer called Bonzo. Other times, it's a guy called Noel.

Half the time though, it's the fish symbol.

I knew the fish symbol would be the one that would do me in for good. I was curious and like how curiousity killed the cat, I find that I have put myself in an extremely vulnerable position where I am so madly in love with the image of the fish symbol that I am seeing it everywhere when I am in my waking moments.

I shall be mad soon and it is all because of the fish symbol.

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the arrows point this way

I feel sick.

I couldn't be more stupid not to realise that all the arrows point to the same path - that of the end. The end of me, the end of you, the end of everything that makes us 'us'.

Eventually, you'll let me go. And I'll have to let you go.

I can't remain your 'one and only' forever. I know.

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an open letter to someone... part 2

Dear someone,

Unexpected things have happened since we started going out, haven't they?

Every day, it gets me wondering how we managed to get to where we are at now. It's like... wow. Is this true? Is this all really true? I know that for my part, I have hoped for things to get to this stage, and had played my part in pushing for the script to follow a certain path but really, it still never fails to put that feeling of wonderment whenever I think about where we were more than a year ago, where we were some months ago and where we are now. It really is wow.

You already know these things, so there is no point for me to elaborate any further. You know me best, it seems.

So I'd like to tell you that every day with you is a privilege, and every moment with you is a memory worth cherishing.

I care for you.

Sincerely, I am yours forever.

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my cup runneth over

It's good to be with someone I can trust, whom I can take into my confidence and share with him all that there is to my mind and my heart.

It is comforting to know that even on the worst of days, there is always someone who will be kind to me and make the despair go away with his warm hugs.

And when he smiles, and his eyes crinkles at the sides, I smile back and care for him all the more.

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odd bobs, hammer and tongs i tell you

Caffeine; the toxic in my veins churns an almighty anxiety in my heart - and all in exchange for a little bit of the Sandman's time; some time to leave me alone. (Sleep, go away! Away!) It gives me bad feeling, this anxiousness. Like I'm waiting for some untold bad premonition to come true.

My head throbs. My heart throbs.

Pain hammers behind my forehead. My heart threatens to leap out of my left breast.

I need to find a substitute for coffee.

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weird me

Nothing gives a girl an ego boost as much as does a jealous beau.

Normally, I'd try my best to not put my guy in a 'threatening' situation but there are times when such instances do crop up. Like when an admirer suddenly pops into existence out of nowhere. Believe me when I say that I'm not that beautiful. I'm also not too smart and sometimes, just plain childish. Heck, I create tantrums on the street.

Being the kind of person that I am, there is no way that any boyfriend could feel threatened about the members of the opposite sex I meet (because they're usually even lamer than I am to the point that I'd not even want to touch them with a stick - but we're talking about people who actually become interested in me, for some reason).

I'm not too sure if he gets jealous. Sometimes, I get the idea that he is whenever I mention about some random bugger who has been bugging me about something quite trivial, and sometimes to the point of being freaky. He acts mad but I don't know if he really is mad because when I question him later, he will act like it was all a show.

But I'd like him to be jealous a bit. To be a bit possessive. I like feeling 'owned' because deep down inside, I'm a pet like that. A pet that's meant to be kept, and kept for good.

And because I know that if he worries about the men that pester me, that means he must care for me, if we talk about warped logic. (Plus that would teach him how I feel about that hip-thrusting floozy.)

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bouncing fish

I'm happy. Relatively. I bought a quarter-of-a-kilo of sweet cherries today in Petaling Street (was there on assignment) which are, in every sense of the word, bliss. Juicy, lovely things with a mixture of sweet tinged with a hint of sour. Beautiful!

And Noel is still in the caves.

My little heart beats forlornly.

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