The universe works in strange ways sometimes. Sometimes, it gives you a clue. Like a fish symbol or a Shnauzer called Bonzo. Other times, it's a guy called Noel.
Half the time though, it's the fish symbol.
I knew the fish symbol would be the one that would do me in for good. I was curious and like how curiousity killed the cat, I find that I have put myself in an extremely vulnerable position where I am so madly in love with the image of the fish symbol that I am seeing it everywhere when I am in my waking moments.
I shall be mad soon and it is all because of the fish symbol.
Monday, June 8, 2009
four hours of sleep
Sunday, June 7, 2009
the arrows point this way
I feel sick.
I couldn't be more stupid not to realise that all the arrows point to the same path - that of the end. The end of me, the end of you, the end of everything that makes us 'us'.
Eventually, you'll let me go. And I'll have to let you go.
I can't remain your 'one and only' forever. I know.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
an open letter to someone... part 2
Dear someone,
Unexpected things have happened since we started going out, haven't they?
Every day, it gets me wondering how we managed to get to where we are at now. It's like... wow. Is this true? Is this all really true? I know that for my part, I have hoped for things to get to this stage, and had played my part in pushing for the script to follow a certain path but really, it still never fails to put that feeling of wonderment whenever I think about where we were more than a year ago, where we were some months ago and where we are now. It really is wow.
You already know these things, so there is no point for me to elaborate any further. You know me best, it seems.
So I'd like to tell you that every day with you is a privilege, and every moment with you is a memory worth cherishing.
I care for you.
Sincerely, I am yours forever.
my cup runneth over
It's good to be with someone I can trust, whom I can take into my confidence and share with him all that there is to my mind and my heart.
It is comforting to know that even on the worst of days, there is always someone who will be kind to me and make the despair go away with his warm hugs.
And when he smiles, and his eyes crinkles at the sides, I smile back and care for him all the more.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
odd bobs, hammer and tongs i tell you
Caffeine; the toxic in my veins churns an almighty anxiety in my heart - and all in exchange for a little bit of the Sandman's time; some time to leave me alone. (Sleep, go away! Away!) It gives me bad feeling, this anxiousness. Like I'm waiting for some untold bad premonition to come true.
My head throbs. My heart throbs.
Pain hammers behind my forehead. My heart threatens to leap out of my left breast.
I need to find a substitute for coffee.
Monday, June 1, 2009
weird me
Nothing gives a girl an ego boost as much as does a jealous beau.
Normally, I'd try my best to not put my guy in a 'threatening' situation but there are times when such instances do crop up. Like when an admirer suddenly pops into existence out of nowhere. Believe me when I say that I'm not that beautiful. I'm also not too smart and sometimes, just plain childish. Heck, I create tantrums on the street.
Being the kind of person that I am, there is no way that any boyfriend could feel threatened about the members of the opposite sex I meet (because they're usually even lamer than I am to the point that I'd not even want to touch them with a stick - but we're talking about people who actually become interested in me, for some reason).
I'm not too sure if he gets jealous. Sometimes, I get the idea that he is whenever I mention about some random bugger who has been bugging me about something quite trivial, and sometimes to the point of being freaky. He acts mad but I don't know if he really is mad because when I question him later, he will act like it was all a show.
But I'd like him to be jealous a bit. To be a bit possessive. I like feeling 'owned' because deep down inside, I'm a pet like that. A pet that's meant to be kept, and kept for good.
And because I know that if he worries about the men that pester me, that means he must care for me, if we talk about warped logic. (Plus that would teach him how I feel about that hip-thrusting floozy.)
bouncing fish
I'm happy. Relatively. I bought a quarter-of-a-kilo of sweet cherries today in Petaling Street (was there on assignment) which are, in every sense of the word, bliss. Juicy, lovely things with a mixture of sweet tinged with a hint of sour. Beautiful!
And Noel is still in the caves.
My little heart beats forlornly.
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