I just went through my friend's blog.. and couldn't help but snigger at her post where she reveals that she was tricked by some dude online into believing that he is a super hottie.
She told me about it some time earlier. Some super hot dude on facebook or summat suddenly decides to 'chat her up' out of the blue and the very next thing, she's contemplating being his girlfriend. Like, an online one. The guy's a foreigner from some country far, far away.
I thought that was so damn dodgy. No offence to my friend.. but the guy is supermodel hot. He can score more gorgeous chicks. My friend is gorgeous enough but well, not enough to be as gorgeous as Nicole Scherzinger. You know?
Then this guy, the real guy behind the photos the interested foreign dude sent her, stumbled on her blog and discovered that some idiot was trying to seduce my friend with his photos! That's totally identity theft! And urged my friend to go Google him up, he being a legitimate model and stuff..
Sounds like a Gotcha moment to me. And the Gotcha's on my friend.
Well done, man. This is why you should always be wary for men on the Net. They're mostly dodgy as hell. The only time you can trust them to put up real photos is if the guy in them looks.. ugly.
Believe you me, I've gone on enough Net blind dates to be an expert on these things.
Monday, March 30, 2009
hahahahaha!!!
Sunday, March 29, 2009
me and my tapir
Over a dinner of my mom's weird version of tom yam, I told my mom (after we bitched for about half an hour about the stupidities that maketh the stupid man, (Mohamad) Khir Toyo, (not forgetting the Datuk Seri and oh, Dr title)) that I wanted to adopt a tapir at the zoo.
I don't know how the conversation ended up with my mom's fascination about this incident at the Melaka zoo when my mom mistook an elephant's schlong for its trunk and wondered why it was spouting all this water until she realised that the trunk was attached to somewhere quite dubious... (And you wonder where I got my open, vulgar humour from.)
But anyway, yeah. My mom was all supportive and said, OK, why don't you go sponsor the tapirs RM100 a month or something because I told her that all donors will have their names listed on this page on the Zoo Negara website. By the way, none of the donors are channeling their money towards the tapirs which is so cruel of them. Who cares about the orangutans? Tapirs are so much more cuter. And if you put a picture of one underneath your pillow, they'll eat up all your bad dreams. So says the Japanese folklore.
Then I told my mom that maybe I'd get to give a name to a tapir. And that I have the perfect name for it. I'm gonna call it Tan Sri Ismail Merican, in honour of the Health director-general that I LOVE so much.
Actually, he is a major asshole. He is rude when he answers my calls for comments and he is a senile old man who would forget something he had told me two days earlier.
I thought it'd be cool to call my tapir Tan Sri. After all, you have dogs called Duke and that sounds all noble and shit. A Tan Sri is a Malaysian equivalent of a Duke, innit? So when I get to visit my adopted tapir, I'd go, "Oi, Tan Sri!" and then I'd take pictures of it pooping and put it up on Facebook with the label: "Here is Tan Sri Ismail Merican. He pooped a big one today." That's going to be so cute.
But my mom thought that that was a cruel thing to do. Not to the real Tan Sri, but to the tapir.
"You're going to name it after an ugly man," she said matter-of-factly.
True.
Maybe I'll just call it Tapir.
So tomorrow, I'm going to call the zoo and find out how I can make donations, get my name on that list of donors' page, and if I can give a name to one of the tapirs they have.
I love tapirs.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
mickey comes to town
Oh, fish. Looks like I'll be 'participating' in this Earth Hour crap thing after all because my friend's bored and I'm supposed to tag along to see some local ragtag bands playing at Laundry. By the way. Don't you need to plug in the speakers and guitars and stuff? Doesn't all this use up electricity? What's the point of Earth Hour then if we're only turning off the lights?
Dumbass communists. Oops, commercialists.
DUMBASSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, I am now safe at home, in the cocoon of my bedroom. My friends have weird ideas about things to do. One friend wanted to go see Tomok. Like, why the fuck do I want to see Tomok? As far as I'm concerned, he's a plain nobody. I just happen to know who he is because some people I know, like my friend, enjoy squealing to me about how cute he is when he totally is not. He is motherfucking ugly. Period.
And then this same friend is pestering me to join her and another friend into going to where again, but Penang. Please. I was there just two weeks ago. I'm not going to pay RM200 for a two-night visit just so we can buy cheap DVDs! And that's just for the travel expenses if we're going by flight both ways! No no no no. There's hardly anything left for a person to do in Penang. I'm not interested in water sports (after a really bad experience last year with the Viper ride) and I don't want to look at their old buildings anymore.
I want. To sit in a tent. Build a campfire. Tell ghost stories round the fire. Have sex in a tent with a really cute guy. THAT'S WHAT I FRIGGIN' WANT.
BUT THERE'S NO FRIGGIN' CUTE GUY AND HARDLY ANYBODY WANTS TO GO CAMPING ANYMORE.
So I am going to read this book on 'The World's Greatest Serial Killers' and figure out a good plan to sterilise the world of a few rotten people.
Friday, March 27, 2009
my obsession
I'm going to do something special for myself by buying my first Thomas Sabo charm. I've already decided which one to buy with my recently-banked in salary.
I'm going to buy myself a pair of cherries in remembrance of my first few years growing up in Manchester, England. The nursery my parents enrolled me into had a special hook for all the kids to hang up their coats. Mine had a picture of cherries. And Mrs Henry or Mrs Gordon would help me to hang up my red coat onto it.
Ah, memories of when I was three.
There's just plenty of pretty charms to choose from but I thought it'd be more memorable to construct a bracelet full of charms that signify important things in my life, the way a charm bracelet should be all about instead of just being a pretty ornament on my wrist.
On another note, I've decided that having a boyfriend is just too overrated. I think I'd rather be single for now because I have yet to find anyone who's going to take my hobbies a lot more seriously.
karaoke is love
Tomorrow: Karaoke with colleagues. I love karaoke. I'm going to sing 'I'll Survive'. I'll have frozen yogurt from Yogurberry and buy a new book. I will be happy.
I will survive~!!!
Thursday, March 26, 2009
the truth remains the truth
"I learned the truth at seventeen;
That love was meant for beauty queens" - Janis Ian
And I learned the truth today. That dogs will always remain dogs.
Barking up the wrong tree, baring fangs at shadows in the dark.
That, is what you are.
YOU ARE OFFICIALLY ON MY SHIT LIST. YOU ARE GOING TO DIE.
the irregular nipple times
OK, that's just plain randomness on my part. What is an irregular nipple anyway? Just to fulfill your curiosity though, there is such a thing as an inverted nipple. That is, if you didn't already know.
Anyway, our local councillors are plain stupid. I attended one of the council's fullboard meeting this morning and it took them four-and-a-half friggin' hours before they decided to postpone whatever else that's left on the plate to another day. I think. God knows. Half an hour before the meeting adjourned, all of the Press decided that they must have lunch and left the councillors to do their bickering unwatched.
The contents of their 'debate' were major time-waster, I felt. This one woman councillor just had to make an argument about medical benefits for the council staff that in my opinion, made her look like an airhead. She wanted to know why longer-serving and higher-ranking staff received more benefits.
"These people should be at a point of their career when they can afford to pay for their medical bills. How is it fair for the others who served less years and rank lower? In fact, they should be the ones whom the council should be helping to ease their medical burdens," she said, in her usual slow, deliberate way.
Now, I'm sure if an employee was riddled with some chronic condition that would require thousands, even millions of Ringgit worth of medical attention and he can't afford it (and his insurance is unable to cover for the entire cost) then the council will definitely step in to display an act of generousity. There are most certainly provisions of the kind in any corporate organisation.
But that is the exception to the case.
In any other circumstances, in every organisation it is normal for someone who has served longer, and especially those of higher rank to receive more benefits compared to the average person at the bottom (or lower parts) of the career rung.
If an organisation starts giving more goodies to the man at the bottom instead of the man at the top, they'd lose damn a lot of money considering that there's usually more at the bottom than on the top. (Nevermind that the man at the top usually gets paid about as much as what all of the men at the bottom earn in a year.)
But the main point is, do that and nobody will want to aspire to do better. Nobody will want to aspire to be on top. They'll be happy to just be the office boy, the typist, the whatever it is because they're getting a hell lot of great things doing stupid stuff that my kid sister could do. Like fold paper and stuff.
Anyway, dinner is calling. I'll continue my rant later.