and they all puked

I don't get it. When did parties start revolving around booze, the flashing of extreme cleavages and puking on the bathroom floor? And in addition to that, having your hand held by an absolute stranger and if you're unlucky-er, having your butt groped by some faceless person lost in the crowd.

Parties - if I remember them correctly - should be about pizza, chips and coke. Plenty of coke. The Coca-Cola variety, not the plant. And maybe cupcake parties with musical chairs for entertainment.