Oh me, to be KOMUNIS

I think I'd like that. You know, to be a KOMUNIS. There's something fascinating about being a KOMUNIS.

I'd get to lug around a big-ass gun (preferably a rocket launcher or say, maybe a machete will be cooler), wear a jumpsuit with those really cool camouflage motifs and then yell like a madman right smack in the middle of a jungle. I'd get to sit in bushes and eat whatever that grows from the ground and invade villages on bicycles.

Oh, but that was the Japanese. Oh, what the heck. I'm half-Japanese. So that makes me half ASKAR JEPUN.

But still, being KOMUNIS rocks. Cos being KOMUNIS means I can do yoga. I can do pole dancing. I can strip in my backyard and shimmy my ass to Britney's Womanizer. Being KOMUNIS means I can eat three tubs of ice-cream and not get diarrhoea. Cos there's some kind of hidden power behind being a KOMUNIS. It's a little like being like Mumraa, the Ever Living. Yeah, that's being a KOMUNIS.

And then I'll rape all the cute guys I see. And they will beg to be raped. And I will tie them up to my bedpost and have my way with them AND I WILL HAVE MY WAY WITH THEM. Because that's the KOMUNIS way of doing things and I am KOMUNIS.

Ah, where art thou cute guy???? Join me and be KOMUNIS with meeeeeeeee..... we will have hot and heavy monkey sex all day longgggggg and we will wreck the bed and drive the neighbours mad with all the moaning and groaning and banging the bedpost against the wall and we will have hot and heavy monkey sexxxxxxx but I said that all ready and it's because I want to be a KOMUNIS dammit because I'm totally sex-starved and I want sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex and sigh.

Don't I just miss the pleasures of the flesh.