selamat tinggal 2008

The most cliche thing to be writing right now would be on the past experiences, the ups and downs, the highs and lows, the rainbows and the (arm)pitfalls that made up the last three-hundred-plus days of my life in 2008.

Bo-ring.

Please gag me with a spoon.

So going against the norm, let me proceed to tell you that I friggin' forgot when was the last time I took a dump. No, seriously. I FORGOT.

That must account for why the gastric pains had to sneak up on me and go 'boo' right in my face two days ago. And I got insulted by the doc for that.

"You forgot to take your meals, huh? Smaarrrtttt..." she went, without even looking me in the eye.

I coulda punched her in the face for that wisecrack.

I don't miss meals. Not anymore anyway. I'm trying to gain weight - add more mass to my boobs, which had gotten smaller over the course of the previous months. Stress? Not enough McD's maybe. So I'm busy firming them up with this RM6 bottle of boob-firming gel I found at the pharmacy some weeks ago.

I mean, I figure, what the heck. It's RM6. If it doesn't work, it's only RM6. Rather than I pay a couple of hundred or a couple of thousand Ringgit for some fancy massage shit at Marie Claire and find that it didn't work, RM6 is as good as RM6 goes.

And I've been doing some weird shit man. Really weird shit like I'm starting to become a bit fucked up in the head, way fucked up than I was anyway. Like Jiminy Cricket's gone on vacation, I'm being a total badass.

Goodbye conscience, it's hello ruthless babe. Bitch. Whatever.

I kinda like it.

Plus I've been massively chewing on these gummy things. It's like crack I tell you. Good stuff.

Oh yeah, I need a dress. Something cute. Provocative. Something that screams - OK, I'm not putting that up here. It's 'censored' 'censored' 'censored'.

Finally, the evil laugh.

Bwahahahahahahahahahahaaaa!!!!!!