what does thine heart tell thee?

The (modern, technology-savvy) Indian astrologer from Little India in Penang told me that I will constantly be in a state of indecisiveness until I hit 30.

I dare not say how true his predictions are but indecisiveness has always been a central part of me for as long as I can remember. And this plagues me.

I wonder if it stems in part from my longstanding love-hate relationship with my basketful of insecurities.

A friend and I shared a 'joke' last night of one-stop centres (OSCs) and the manual roundabout way of local council bureaucracies, following yesterday's pointless assignment - a press conference (more like a two-minute announcement) on how local councils in the state are looking at improving the OSCs public delivery system without even letting reporters know how they plan on going about in achieving that (ah, I hate Ronnie Liu).

The gist of the conversation was that maybe, in the context of guys and girls and SEX, guys would rather visit 'OSCs' than to waste their time dealing with 'bureaucracies' the traditional way with all the red tape, the excuses, delays, etc.

This whole conversation was the result of a much prior conversation (bitching and gossiping, actually) of two girls we know who have a knack of getting themselves into scandalous situations with absolutely dodgy characters.

Anyway, guess which category of girls I fall into. (Hint, not the first one.)

Well, yeah, I'm going about this in a roundabout way as usual but the point I'm trying to make is that my indecisiveness (coupled with my insecurities) is the current stumbling block in making certain... things... happen.

I guess it's suffice to say that maybe it's something of a good thing, considering the kind of trouble an ignoramus like myself tends to fall into but. But but but but. I can't be this way forever.

Oh, bleeding heart! (O! Happy dagger!)

What is it that I feel in my heart?